That transition web page comes up. You know the one – the limbo between where you were and where you’re trying to go. It’s this sort of in-between, place-holder, internet static page where everything turns to white… and when that page comes up after you’ve submitted your Ralph’s grocery delivery order during the Covid 19 days… whew, that’s some finger nail biting, girl! What the hell’s going to happen?! It’s going to be one of three results, two of which will be unpleasant: 1) confirmed grocery pickup/delivery time options, 2) page failure (reload), or 3) no delivery or pickup times available – please check back later. More times than not option 3 is what it’s going to be.
So I’ve got grocery story web pages open all day, and I’m monitoring these things like I’m in the midst of a high stakes Ebay auction. Grocery shopping has never had this level of intensity, and I think we should likely see that as a cultural signifier that (under our current propagandist regime) our country is taking on more of a 3rd World flair. I’m literally scanning Ralph’s and Sprouts online like they’re giving away 2 for 1 blow jobs. My point isn’t to bitch about these inconveniences and shortages, but rather to identify how big a role food is playing throughout my day. The constant ordering of, cooking of, picking up of, and cleaning up of food is dominating some prime time during my day… and since it’s taking up so much more of my mental focus, it’s making me fixate more and more about whether I have enough food in the house… thus making me order more and more. I never used to worry about that. I just had what I had (enough for approximately 1 more meal than what I was currently eating), and beyond that, grocery shopping and cooking occupied zero bandwidth within my daily cycle.
And it’s not just the shopping that sucks these days… it’s my cooking too. Under normal circumstances, each week I cook just enough to conjure little food bridges that suffice between the meals that I actually enjoy and use for real sustenance. But now… my cooking is the star of the show, and responsible for providing all of the nutrition and satisfaction. Boy, it sure is coming up short! Probably like a lot of people, I had this feeling that since I was the one providing these meals to myself that I was somehow enjoying the slop I was getting served. After a bit more time doing this though, I realized, not only am I not digging the food, but I think I’m proactively creating real stomach issues for myself.
The big takeaway here isn’t to focus on my dislike grocery shopping or cooking, as I already knew that. Rather, it’s to point out that, now I’m now spending so much more time doing these things, I’ve developed a newfound respect for…. Myself. I used to always feel so guilty eating out as much as I did pre-Covid, and eating for one at the Whole Foods hot line as often as I did seemed a little sad, but I was way off base getting down on myself over these behaviors. I was right not to cook all along! I knew these this about myself, and my actions followed suit. Maybe I do already know the real me and I can end my daily, searing self analysis… obviously in between placing my orders on Instacart or Shipt (have y’all used those?)…
Comments