That’s what’s going on these days. And they’re getting fancy. Sooo fancy that the whole phenomenon is tapping into my internal insecurity concerning my lack of fashion forward-ness. I never knew what to wear back in the real world, now I’m encountering my first fashion challenge of the apocalypse. It’s making my so tired. That’s what happens to me when I’m met with a situation I don’t have the immediate answer to… an internal default setting flips to “submission,” or maybe just “retreat.”
I’ve been wearing these cheapo, paper, sort of nurse-looking masks that I had leftover under my bathroom from sink from a while ago. I have no idea why I made that purchase originally, but I think it had something to do with dust mites. It’s so dusty out here, or at least it used to be. Maybe that’s gone now too. I heard some advertisements during a recent Maron podcast for a few companies out her in LA that are offering leather and denim masks. Or, one of the companies at least used to make leather gear and is also offering masks. Wouldn’t leather mask restrict breathing? It feels like it. I guess if the point is not to breathe anything in or out than that would be optimal, eh? And denim masks? God damn man, I carry a personal stigma about denim jackets, and to pivot from that prejudice into a denim face covering feels like a real internal stylistic violation. I don’t like denim that goes any higher than waist level. That’s what I’m now realizing...
My chintzy paper masks are going to start deteriorating soon enough though. I’ve even been reusing them a little, and they’re starting to get that “breath” smell, like a dog’s mouth or something. They’ll have to go… and I’ll have to decide: what type of mask wearer am I? DIY? That would be a jump for me (in any realm), but this could be the time I make that leap into crafting more basics for myself. I’ve allowed myself to get way to city and soft in regards to self-preservation over the years. Maybe that’s what this mask anxiety is really tapping into? It’s yet another reveal of the personal growth that needs to occur in order for me to get there. Still not sufficiently there yet. I’m going to start getting into this shit tonight or tomorrow, and, who knows, maybe this is the little, crafty niche I’ve been missing during my downtime. I’m this close to convincing myself to get excited about making myself a mask. Maybe I’ll get all the way there after a nap.
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