Just Enough
When I give myself permission to eat at Chick Fil A or McDonalds, it really bothers me when other people hold up traffic by optimizing their order to get the just “right” amount of food. Let’s look at this… First, you’re at McDonald’s… so, unless your order is nothing, you’re not going to order the right amount of food. Second… money. Your decision making is likely going to lead to a money swing of approximately 77 cents to a $1.89 – likely not a high risk economic situation in need of critical thinking and weighing variables. If this disparity does represent a critical juncture in your life… than you likely living at, or around, a Starbucks… and can eat there (!). I realize, for some, the drive thru (or counter) can be a pressure packed situation. There’s a lot of noise, bright lights, options, someone pounding you with questions, and (most importantly) you’re not sober, but… there’s a way out of this. Just focus, and breathe, and select the first combo meal that makes you think, “That’s way too much.” There’s no such thing at fucking McDonald’s… because the only reason you’re here… is to hurt yourself. You need to follow the instinct and do what you came there to do: Be nasty. You want to feel it! Nobody wants that, “I’m one McNugget short” of being stuffed feeling… IE, you ate not quite enough disgusting shit… huh? So, to review: 1) order fast/ keep the line moving, 2) over-eat/get sick, and feel ashamed, 3) Throw away all the leftovers/evidence, no matter how much waste it is – get rid of it… and, most importantly 4) Get the fuck out of my way so I can feel ashamed to.
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