I really worry that I may be burdened with a superpower that allows me to think my most terrible thoughts into existence. Like, for example, when I’m about to have sex with a brand new partner, I genuinely think to myself, “Don’t embarrass yourself like you did with that last partner,” and, within seconds… I’ve done it again! This may sound like comedy club polished neuroses, but I’ve obtained genuine proof of concept in the dark thought manifestation game. My professional life can speak strongly to this capability. I sold film tax credits for a long time. I didn’t even know I could dream of something that horrifying until it I heard myself doing it on the phone at my cubicle on a Tuesday in 2017. What were the origins of the dark thought that led to me doing this? Why do my superpowers yield such strong results for ideas this bad?
I must say, though, I’ve noticed that I rarely get too concerned that I might accidentally think some random, wonderful thing into existence. I mean, if my “life imitates thoughts” superpowers are so legit, than some loose fortuitousness could easily spill out of me and into the streets at any second! For instance, if someone sits next to me on an airplane coughing (Note: Pre-covid observation. I know longer fly or see people cough), I’m immediately thinking, “What if that person gets me sick?” And then, within seconds, I’m sick. My fear-maker is that efficient. But, if I’m in line at the bank, now that I think about it, I could easily slip into the thought of… “There’s a bunch of money in my account right now”… and then BAM… the account may end up getting jam pack with god damn cash. Honestly, this would give me quite a start! I need to start worrying about this conundrum better, and with more repetitions. “Try to think it through Jonathan”… and quit being so sloppy with your positive thought production.
Unfortunately, it has become pretty obvious to me that not putting the worry, angst, and dread into my wonderful thoughts... has likely kept them from occurring. The sucky thing though… is that thinking about wonderful just doesn’t do much for me, energy-wise. My brain is hooked on the fuel of terrible – that’s what powers the protons! So, I’ve come up with a little trick to manifest more fantastic things for myself. I will focus my more of my thoughts on good things that could happen to me… that would be horrible for other people. That notion is concerning enough for my brain to keep me engaged! I don’t like making horrible things happen to others. That gives me stress! There could be something here. In fact, I’ve made it my Covid Year’s resolution to start worrying about the unfortunate plights of others that could simultaneously benefit me. And with the right amount of fear and worry, I’m optimistic that… I won’t be embarrassed at all after I disappoint my next partner!
Comentarios