I don’t listen to podcasts for enjoyment anymore. Rather, I get a prescription for specific shows from friends and relatives so I can start addressing my various shortcomings as a person. Whatever arena of my life is going poorly – love life, finances, science, politics – I just throw some of that podcast medicine on it, because (we all know) it’s going to make me a better person.
Fortunately, I remember the day it worked… and I became a better person. That’s the day I decided to start prescribing podcasts too. “Take 3 hours (dosage/audio length may vary)… of programming covering (insert things in life you suck at) in the evenings, or while driving”… And by the next morning you’ll be telling everyone about the podcast you listened to… that’s going to fix all of their problems. The leap to expert in these circles is rapid. Also, that’s the medicinal quality taking effect – you don’t have problems anymore… you have solutions for other people’s problems.
Podcasts are like the new books in that way… just telling people that you’re digesting them confirms, “I’m living life the right way... Why else would I know about this book/podcast?” Taking regular doses of biographical podcasts is also great way to help you get better. This type of podcast usually features an objectively successful person, and a highly sycophantic host that fluffs the successful person into “not” boasting about these successes. These have a really strong medicinal impact (via osmosis) before bed. Envision yourself as said successful person in this interview, listing off all of your marginally noteworthy achievements… By framing all of your big accomplishments in the past tense, it really takes the pressure off accomplishing important (IE Stressful!) things in the future. It’s like it already happened! Off to sleep you go (Yawn noise)… “My podcast medicine’s making me a little drowsy, but I sure am feeling better about myself… I can’t wait to prescribe some of these to the real losers tomorrow.”
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